Could not have gone worse. I hate when I know the point I want to get across, but I have no idea how to phrase it. Especially when it's something important.
Or when I get all choked up because I can't say the things I want to say. Irritates me like none other too.

Sometimes I want to shake you, scream just to wake you up. I want to tell you I still believe and I'm still here even if I can't put it into words. I've never been good at that confrontational talking where you try to get things worked out. Maybe if I postponed saying things, it would be different. But you can't take things back. I hate that I can't talk to you anymore, I'm sure I can. But right now I break into tears trying, and that's not exactly pleasant.
I had this all worked out in my head before writing it. I hate when I forget perfectly planned out things too. I don't know what I want to get out of this. I don't know what I expect from it if anything.
Maybe I just need to tell you everything I can't, and I wish that I could just send this to you. But even that's too hard right now.
I don't know if you'll change your mind. I don't know if you'll work whatever it is out. But just know I'll be here, just like I always have been for as long as I've known you.
You may not, but I still believe. After a year of fights, make-ups, plans and affection, there has to be something there. You may not want to hear it, but I think it.
Things will get better between us.